Saturday, March 6, 2010

Blood, sweat & tears . . .

that has been the recipe from which my workouts have been made these past few days. This is no problem if I am by myself, but when I throw my BFFTPFL (maybe not after today?) in the mix, it makes for a crappy training day for both of us! Probably because mentally when I am down, I am bringing others down, too.

So, I try to stick to myself - don't talk, keep my head down & just ride. Except there is NO communication with my riding buddy. Not just small talk, but the basics: safety issues, what the goal of the ride is, etc.

"Hey, I'm gonna roll thru this stop sign!"
"Hey, how about we do a few more repeats on this hill, cool with you?"
"Hey, I am just down in the dumps right now, thanks for bearing with me."

I simply failed both of us by not doing these things!!

Back to my recipe . . .

There are so many stories of people who conquer triathlon training & Ironman. They overcome big hurdles. Prosthetics for extremities, heart transplants, cancer - you name it, they are out there, they have done it! These folks are amazing, heroic even.

But what about the 45-year-old with the raging hormones that she has only moderate control over? Medications, acupuncture, meditation - even working out: all the things that are supposed to be done, still do not stop the bleeding . . . do not stop the uncontrollable crying while riding up hill repeats . . . do not stop stubborn-ass pride from getting in the way of talking to your best friend!

Now, I do not want to minimize the amazing folks who overcome the major curve balls that life has thrown at them. But I think that this issue of hormonal imbalance needs its day in the sun.

And, I do not feel sorry for myself or anybody else. WE are out there giving it our best. Even when our best feels like a shitty training day or even a shitty race.

I just think I would rather say,

"Wow, I am really tired today because of my lung transplant"

instead of,

"Fuck, I am tired today because I am bleeding like a stuck pig & have really bad cramps"

It just sounds better, right? You don't go to do your Ironman and say, "I'm crying because . . . that guy passed me on the bike? People at work are stupid? I am letting my training partner down? Hell, I don't know WHY I'm crying?????"

I did learn that even though I want to stay in bed, cover my head & shoot some people dead . . . that I will just muddle on through these "monthly" inconveniences. Even if I have to stop at the park, go in the bathroom & just sob!

I also learned that I better just talk to my BFFTPFL and let him know what is up. And that, maybe, I should have a training day (or 3) that I just do all by myself.

And, I learned that if my little monthly visitor decides to join me at IMAZ, I will go ahead & follow my recipe & do it with blood, sweat & tears!!!

Perhaps you think this is a pity party. Maybe it is, but I do feel better writing about it. I do feel better knowing that Vit will be there through thick & thin. Whether he likes it or not!

Mi dispiace, Vit.

Well, here comes the rain. I am glad I got that ride in!!!

For now . . .

Much Peace & Love,


  1. Glad you feel better for writing about it. Yes, that monthly reality can suck (I still remember), but I can't imagine trying to train like you do with it.

    The title BFF isn't taken lightly for a reason, as through thick and thin we are always there. Remember that. ILY and so does your BFFTPFL. It pains us to see you in pain.

  2. your BFFTPFL will always be there with you and is always by your matter what!!!!