Saturday, March 6, 2010

Blood, sweat & tears . . .

that has been the recipe from which my workouts have been made these past few days. This is no problem if I am by myself, but when I throw my BFFTPFL (maybe not after today?) in the mix, it makes for a crappy training day for both of us! Probably because mentally when I am down, I am bringing others down, too.

So, I try to stick to myself - don't talk, keep my head down & just ride. Except there is NO communication with my riding buddy. Not just small talk, but the basics: safety issues, what the goal of the ride is, etc.

"Hey, I'm gonna roll thru this stop sign!"
"Hey, how about we do a few more repeats on this hill, cool with you?"
"Hey, I am just down in the dumps right now, thanks for bearing with me."

I simply failed both of us by not doing these things!!

Back to my recipe . . .

There are so many stories of people who conquer triathlon training & Ironman. They overcome big hurdles. Prosthetics for extremities, heart transplants, cancer - you name it, they are out there, they have done it! These folks are amazing, heroic even.

But what about the 45-year-old with the raging hormones that she has only moderate control over? Medications, acupuncture, meditation - even working out: all the things that are supposed to be done, still do not stop the bleeding . . . do not stop the uncontrollable crying while riding up hill repeats . . . do not stop stubborn-ass pride from getting in the way of talking to your best friend!

Now, I do not want to minimize the amazing folks who overcome the major curve balls that life has thrown at them. But I think that this issue of hormonal imbalance needs its day in the sun.

And, I do not feel sorry for myself or anybody else. WE are out there giving it our best. Even when our best feels like a shitty training day or even a shitty race.

I just think I would rather say,

"Wow, I am really tired today because of my lung transplant"

instead of,

"Fuck, I am tired today because I am bleeding like a stuck pig & have really bad cramps"

It just sounds better, right? You don't go to do your Ironman and say, "I'm crying because . . . that guy passed me on the bike? People at work are stupid? I am letting my training partner down? Hell, I don't know WHY I'm crying?????"

I did learn that even though I want to stay in bed, cover my head & shoot some people dead . . . that I will just muddle on through these "monthly" inconveniences. Even if I have to stop at the park, go in the bathroom & just sob!

I also learned that I better just talk to my BFFTPFL and let him know what is up. And that, maybe, I should have a training day (or 3) that I just do all by myself.

And, I learned that if my little monthly visitor decides to join me at IMAZ, I will go ahead & follow my recipe & do it with blood, sweat & tears!!!

Perhaps you think this is a pity party. Maybe it is, but I do feel better writing about it. I do feel better knowing that Vit will be there through thick & thin. Whether he likes it or not!

Mi dispiace, Vit.

Well, here comes the rain. I am glad I got that ride in!!!

For now . . .

Much Peace & Love,